About me: I am separated and with three kids, one after the other. Despite the experience given by my forty-two years old, it is amazing how treeless I am in this life. But if I have more sexual appetite now than when I dressed and combed my hair like Alaska, around the tacky eighties. I normally satiate this thirst sprawled in front of any stupid program on Friday night and devouring the delicious anise rolls from the bakery below. By the way, the baker is so good-looking!, but what a dirty trick they have played on me – his ferocious wife and himself – by opening the wrong business so close to my insatiable anxiety.
“Two dozens of rolls, Marquitos”. As soon as I pronounce some words, this feline beast he has for wife appears from the back room. “I am serving her, Marco Antonio. Get the croissants out of the oven, they must be already baked”, she orders without taking her eyes off me. Her attitude is comprehensible, as she knows the most desirable thing in her facility is that always-sprinkled-with-flour cherub she has as a husband. Not, I do not eat all the rolls. One of the dozens is for my maniac children. I quietly eat the other one after misleading myself with the conviction that tomorrow I will continue with Jane Fonda’s videos. But today is my day. Nobody will interpose.
Feeling then sorry, lately I´ve been dealt with the same reflection: What the hell is happening? Everything is turned. Males around me act like egocentric trophy men. Always on the lookout. They passively wait like fashion magazine stars for us to take them out to dance. We must go boldly towards them like one of those spaghetti westerns. Bowlegged gait, hand on holster and Wild West melody whistled background. “Hey honey, shall we dance?”. Then he stutters of insecurity and, in the best of cases, the thing ends in sex.
Whenever you feel the same, it’s because it’s the same. After calling him a few days later, I do not get response or just stupid excuses that nobody mentally healthy could believe. Rarely, some communicate with sincerity and, when doing so, he speaks for all: he is not ready for a relationship, he is very wary of his privacy, he needs to resolve a thousand issues before launching making up his mind, and so on. And I wonder, who has told these narcissists I expect a relationship with them?
Once and for all, my lovers notice this: I am just looking for accomplices. Come on, you simple wartime allies. I have also problems and for god’s sake, I don’t want you tucked into my house at all. But, let’s smooch from time to time, because Jane Fonda made many videos, but I run out of repertoire soon.
ManuManué
It´s over. I´m leaving. I leave the children with their father and rent one of the apartments in Marrakech Maybe someone there will help me lose.
Translated by: salome antigone
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